A Binge Before the Purge

I have a bit of work to do on my first resolution, but I think the other 2 are complete and ready for posting on January 1st. Also to do on January 1st: Watch the Spartans in the CapitalOne Bowl. It starts as I get out of work. Yea!

As a kind of last hurrah before the New Year I've been eating crap (Taco Bell, large complicated sushi rolls, biscuits and gravy) and drinking Pepsi. Pepsi makes me tired. Very tired. Today I did clean up the studio and restart my carving, from scratch. One more night of Taco Bell, mmm, mmm, good.

Prelude to the Resolutions.

I've added melatonin to my sleep routine, in the effort to develop a sleep routine, or as my sister describes it, good sleep hygiene. As a result I fall asleep a little quicker, and sleep REALLY well, and even wake up earlier, but not more willing to get out of bed. It would be completely wonderful if I wanted to get out of bed, all refreshed and anxious to get started with my day, but that only happens on my days off. My bed is super comfortable. Warm and toasty and cuddly, and the house is super cold.

Since I moved into the house, I've been having crazy vivid dreams. People, places, things, all very detailed, with intricate, intricate plot lines. I have crazier dreams when I have a glass of wine before bed, and with the melatonin, the wine isn't necessary. My day is often determined by the dreams I have the night before. My mood, my attitude, how I approach work, people I meet or work with, all affected by the quality of my dream.

My dreams would be better if my ex-boyfriend would stay out of them.

The melatonin and better sleep hygiene are part of a larger plan. Overall, I'm not completely happy. I stayed in Oregon after being laid off 2 Januaries in a row for what became the wrong reasons (outlined in lesson 1), and now I'm here, and I'm not certain I know what I want. I know what I have going now is not it. I deserve better.

Lesson #2

There's a new cliche about how the Declaration of Independence promises life liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but there is no promise of happiness, just the opprotunity to chase it. When I was younger I pushed to achieve certain things, because that is what I thought was expected of me, and I thought life was short, which it might be. I focused on worldly accomplishments, rather than living, and failed to appreciate the experiences laid before me.

I've learned there is no deadline for happiness.
I don't need to complete a list of tasks to achieve happiness.
Completing the list will not make me happy.
There is no guarantee for happiness.
Enjoy the pursuit of happiness, because the goal is undefined.

I'm not saying neglect all the things in your life you don't enjoy, like laundry, or piddly little tasks at work. If you don't do those things, they will weigh on you like the handicaps of Harrison Bergeron, limiting your enjoyment of the good stuff.

I've been told repeatedly this last year, I'm just a puppy, I'm still young, I have time to figure out what I want to do with my life, I don't need to DO anything but take care of my responsibilities and there is no deadline for happiness.

I'm not cool

with the new nursing home rating system. I know I work at one of the best facilities in the state, and the one across town smells like PEE! but they had a better rating than we did. They also hadn't been audited since 2007, soooo it's an inaccurate rating system. (& I know that I may be saying that to make myself feel better.)

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
I tried to be good this year. Please send me a nice guy and a pay raise. If you can't swing those, lets work on world peace and ending poverty. I'll try to be good again this year.
Sincerely, Katie

Lesson #1

I'm posting my lessons from this year, before I post my resolutions. No, I'm not too pretentious or lazy for resolutions. This isn't the most important lesson, but it's the most obvious, and the one I need to remember everytime I go to the bar.

If the relationship has any negative connotation within the first month or so, leave. Walk away. Don't look back. Delete his number.
If he shoves you, leave. Walk away. Don't look back. Delete his number.
If he yells at you, leave. Walk away. Don't look back. Delete his number.
If he won't get up and take you to urgent care when you have a potentially deadly infection, leave. Walk away. Don't look back. Delete his number.
If he slurs and can't complete a sentance fragment, leave. Walk away. Don't look back. Delete his number.
If he drinks and doesn't come home at a reasonable time (we're talking after 2:30 am), leave. Walk away. Don't look back. Delete his number.
If he doesn't love your cat, or at least fake loving your cat, leave. Walk away. Don't look back. Delete his number.

You don't need someone to be miserable with.

ugh

i don't even remember what I promised to get done last time.
I have 1/6 of the carving that needs to get done complete, and the easy (or hard, depending on perspective) part at that, and my tools need sharpening.
I'm not in the mood/drunk enough to paint and that isn't a priority until after the holidays.
Call the camera place... to do yet.
Sleep some more. Top of the list.
Stalk the hottest man in Roseburg. Very high on the list.
Make it through the holiday season, right above stalking.
Remain sober until New Year's eve... toughie.
Start working on New Year's resolution... meh. I got the weight loss goals mapped out, thanks to the fact my friend Sarah looks HOT. A little shout out to Sarah for doing such a great job.
Finish Christmas/Birthday Shopping.
Finish making lotions and body scrubs and writing addresses on Christmas card envelopes. And put everything in the mail.
Oh, and hunt down that package that is supposed to arrive today, but may not because it has the wrong address on it, because my mom doesn't keep my address on hand. I'm bitter.

Coming soon:

1. 2 finished pieces of original work. I started a draft for one, that will be my dad's christmas present, adjusted to fit his new office, with prints available @ my esty shop. The other is a half finished painting I just need to get drunk and finish.
2. My artwork will be (should be) for sale at a local shop come sometime next week. I'll be tweaking the prices a bit to adjust for the frame and finishing, and I'll repost the prints @ my etsy shop, with a link here.
3. A 2008 lessons learned list. HERE. A result of a crappy first week in December.
4. I'll call Fuji tomorrow to see about getting my camera fixed, and will proceed to photograph/journal map as much of Roseburg as I can find.

So, yeah,

I totally intended to walk, and take pictures and post and write today. But my camera is broken. Yeah. Great timing as I'm enrolled in the photography class at UCC. Sweet. So I may have to change to the basic design class, if the cost of repair is too high. Yeah, fun.

Granholm's an Idiot

Granholm, governor of my home-state, has every student on a college preparatory track? What? Really? Who's dumb ass idea was that?

walking tour

View Larger Map
so, ill add pictures at a later date, when walk the route again, and will add them to the google map and pin point the places where the pictures were taken, and which direction I was facing.
starting at fred meyers, walk east to Stephens/99. You'll go past the northern entrance to the VA, the Roseburg HQ for the BLM and over I-5 on the Garden Valley overpass. Pretty freaky. A bunch of other businesses.
At Stephens/99 keep walking east, past the new Walgreen's and Coastal, where it wraps past Oak Park and transitions into Lincoln. UP the hill on Lincoln. My car groans on Lincoln, and so do I. Going down the hill you pass Grace Family Center. Keep walking past Klamath, past the apartment complex managed by RAP. Lincoln curves into Wright, then cross over Winchester, and walk down past DQ to the Taco Del Mar, and take a right at Rowe Street, and walk under the bridge. Really, under the bridge, past the homeless people. Then follow the trail along side the river till you reach the I-5, and this time you go under the I-5. There's a pedestrian bridge under the I-5. I never suspected. Very excited, now I can walk to work in the summer, or get a bike, and ride! On the other side of under the bridge you reach the trail that goes through Stewart Park and the disc golf course. This wraps all the way around to the wetlands beside Fred Meyer, and we're at the begining again.