Friday, December 31, 2010

Fake It Till I Make It.

*Backstory: Last summer my sister introduced me to a friend of her then fiance now husband's.  We'll call him BOB.  BOB is also my brother in law's sister's brother in law.  We hung out while my sister was at work, watching cars go by and discovered we had a mutual distaste for "In Loving Memory of the Foolish Teenager Who Drove into the Tree while Drunk/High & Maimed His Best Friend" stickers.

Fast Forward to my sister's wedding.  I was the ONLY SINGLE FEMALE under the age of 40 except one of the nannies who had canceled her own wedding less than a month earlier after she caught her fiance cheating on her, with his secretary.  Tired from:
  • the scrutiny
  • sleeping on the floor in the cabin
  • fighting with the other bridesmaid
  • fighting with the bride
  • wearing what is possibly the worst fitting dress ever
I proceeded to get drunk and flirt with BOB.  I dubbed BOB my unoffical date.  Long story short we ended up at the after party together and there the rumors started.  I've seen BOB once since the wedding.  He's a wonderful person, but lives far away and neither of us is smitten.*

BOB may or may not be at the same place at the same time as I am this weekend and my sister wanted to warn me, as she likes to make a big deal about my single status.

This is the script for the fake text I may or may not accidently send to my sister:

Hey BOB, it's Katie. Just a heads up, I was told we may run into each other @ B&J's this weekend.  I realize now you were a gentleman about turning down my attempts to get into your pants.  I will do my best not to throw myself at you if we should meet again in front of friends and family. Be warned however, if I should find myself alone with you, I may not be able to fight the temptation you present.  Best Wishes for the New Year, Katie.

Or I may explain the situation to BOB and ask him to forward the text to my sister with a "WHAT THE HELL?" attached. He's that great of a guy.