I'm narcissistic to the core. I care about what I want to be doing, not about answering your phone call where you tell me I'm a good friend, and ask how I'm doing then interrupt to tell me how your relationship is going and rehash all the emotional turmoil you create for yourself (which is all bogus).
Here's how it is. Believe it or not, my time is valuable. I know I appear to be a laid back unreliable bum incapable of watching after small children or turning off the coffee pot but *shh* that is just an act so I don't have to take on responsibilities I don't give a shit about.
I do care about you, and your well being. If you have an honest to goodness problem, holla. I will sit on the phone with you and listen for hours regardless of the time of day. I will not offer advice or feed you a cliche. I will rephrase what you have told me, will offer feedback when asked, but advice comes only upon specific request.
I will walk miles beside you. I will listen.
But after the 50th phone call where you babble the same inane shit that you create, when I know you're going to call you cousin or the next friend when we hang up, I draw the line. At this point I only answer the phone if it's been a month since your last call and your facebook posts don't show evidence of psychosis.
Because (this is where I give unwanted feedback) YOU'RE NOT DEALING WITH THE ISSUE. Real or a manifestation of a heart without an center of gravity, talking about the issue is not going to solve the issue. Unless you plan to take action and man up, or better yet, woman up, and deal with it, you're wasting my time.
I've got shit to do. I have a life list that is growing by the week, and I have projects that want my time, my attention. Those 8 hours a day I spend earning a paycheck? I'm brainstorming. I have a world to conquer, a universe to create, potential to exploit.
So, if you need an ear, I'm here. But respect me enough to not waste my fucking time.
2 comments:
I am responding to one of your blog posts, "I can't believe I just..." & feel my drive to work thoughts from this morning could benefit you and your friend you've wanted to close a door to--i just can't leave a comment because I am not a member to any of the options listed!
I'm dealing with similar issues with changes I want to make for myself, & one thing I've had to remind myself of when I have friends who Seem to "butt-in" and take the wheel for me, that they're actually not steering the wheel & they're not judging me; they're just looking out for me in their ways. Each friend has a different way of expressing their advice. I can usually tell that when I take advice the wrong way, I am just not ready to hear the truth, yet. I almost secretly closed the door to a friendship due to my stubborn nature, & when I had a clear head it was all fine & I'm thankful I didn't make any "decisions" about anything due to my sensitivity. Some friends are better at a distance to appreciate them better, but they should never have a closed door:) hope things are looking up mattew 5:16
This post wasn't about their opinions on how I choose to live, but how they don't seem to respect me enough to not waste my time. I'm being offensive when I say their phone calls are a waste of my time, but they are. Because they call, they don't bother with much of a how are you, generally skipping the hello, but head straight to the "this is what is wrong in (their) life, problems (they are creating) in (their lives), then ask me to pray for them or to suggest a regimine for penance. Then I point out they have be *whining* for an hour, I'm not the person they should be talking to, (it should be their therapist, or girlfriend, I am neither) and they need to grow up. Then they apologize and ask me how I am and proceed to give me advice I do not ask for, nor is the advice in anyway relevant to me, my life, my goals, or anything I may have mentioned. I try not to mention anything, because they proceed to ask questions, questions I do not want to answer. Because they ask why. At 28 I feel entitled to make the choices I choose for my life. I have the right to make crappy choices. I don't need to justify my choices to someone who spends all their time going through their phonebook looking for advice, calling the next person when they don't like the feedback from the first, second, nth on the list.
Also I have admitted before I do, I do cut people out, people who are MEAN. I don't think I'm being me, I do think I am weary. I do appreciate your feedback, and I did look up Matthew 5:16 and it is something I will meditate on tomorrow. Thank you.
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